For the ladies

I just read something and cringed. A newly divorced woman emailed a man she'd been on a date with and asked him out.

Ladies, do yourself a favor. If you're single, thinking of being single, or wondering if you're with the right guy, run, don't walk, but run to the nearest bookstore and get a copy of He's Just Not That Into You.

If you have to ask him anything other than where he's taking you after he's already asked you out, get rid of the jerk. If he's not asking you out, but making you ask him out, he's either just not that into you, or he's a lazy fuckwit. Either way, he's not for you. Do not lower your expectations to that level.

Asking a guy out is not being forward, it's being desperate and we're above that.

Forget what the feminist say. They don't know shit when it comes to male/female relationships. If we follow their advice we'll be promoting skankism and trust me, there's enough skanks in the world. And the only type of males we'll attract are the dreaded I'm-a-skank-magnent-and-proud-of-it male.

We deserve better than that.

Do. Not. Ask. Any. Male. Out.

Repeat after me, if I have to ask him out than he's just not that into me. Or he's a lazy fuckwit. I'm not going to waste my time on either type.

At the risk of pissing off my male readers, here's the reality. Men are giant potty trained two year olds. Has anyone seen a two year old not actively pursue what they wanted? Yes. They do it all the time. Men are the same way. If they want something, they pursue it with the same excitement as a two year old.

When a two year old wants a lollipop that's the only thing they want. If you offer them a piece of cake, they might take it, but they only play with the cake, smearing it all over the place. Once you dangle the coveted lollipop in front of them they abandon the cake, completely ignoring it.

Men are the same way. If you offer them yourself while they're waiting for their lollipop, they'll play with you, but they won't treat you any better than the two year old smearing the cake all over the table and walls.

Ladies, please, don't lower your expectations. Demand a man who treats you with the respect you deserve.

Being alone isn't fun, but being with a man who doesn't show you any respect is worse. And what's even worse than that is waiting for a man who doesn't treat you with any respect to call you. We are so much better than that.

Am I taking my own advice? I am now.

Which is why I'm going to save my marriage. My husband is actively pursuing me. He wants to protect me. (Hey, it's what real men want to do for the woman in their life.) There's a few years of hurt that we have to work through. I wish it was as easy as it was when we were first starting out. But it's not. I now know how deeply he can hurt me. But so does he.

The one thing I know, he wants me. I don't have to wonder what he's really saying when he speaks. If he's not clear, he repeats it until he knows it's clear in my mind.

There are three things any relationship has to have to be viable. It doesn't matter if it's a marriage, a friendship, or anything in between. If a relationship doesn't have all three of these things, it's not worth keeping on any level. Trust. Respect. Communication. It has to come from both parties.

There's nothing wrong with you or the guy if he's just not that into you. There is something very wrong if as a woman you accept the crumbs from a guy that just isn't that into you.

Don't do it. Ever.