Trying again

The last few days have been rough. I've tried to blog about it, but I keep deleting my thoughts.

Yesterday was very rough.

Today is better.

The friend that wasn't expected to survive the night did. He's still in very critical condition.

It's at times like this when the little things matter.

The sun shining on the mountain. No, it didn't last long, but for a few minutes it was gorgeous and I was so thankful I was awake to see it.

Instead of regretting that I didn't have a better camera to capture the image of the three cruise ships still docked as I went to work last night, I was grateful that I saw them.

They really are floating hotels. But at night, when it's dark and they're all lit up, and all those lights are reflected in the channel it's gorgeous. Somewhat like the white lights in Anchorage in the dead of winter, but without the severe cold, or slippery streets.

This morning on the way home, the clouds were low on the mountain. Instead of making me feel closed in, I felt safe and secure.

I don't know why one day they drive me nuts and on other days they provide comfort. But today they were nice.

As I crossed the bridge I noticed three ships were already docked and another one was coming down the channel.

How many of them will still be there when I go to work tonight? I don't know. But as I drive along the channel, I'll slow down at the clear spot and watch them.

In less than a month, they'll be gone for the winter. But they'll be back next spring.

Joey's still alive this morning. Better than anyone had dared hope for.

Last month he was on vacation, enjoying his wife and kids.

Days after he returned home he's been in and out of the hospital and now he's fighting for his life.

None of us really know what's wrong with him. Well, we know some of what's wrong, but we don't know why. How did it happen?

Life is fragile.

But even during times like now, when many of us are worried about our friend, life provides us with our own rainbow. Sometimes it's our interaction with those we love. Sometimes, like the last few hours, it's images of beauty.

So for my "unhinged" buddy, don't dispair. I'm still just as full of shit as you are, but today...well, today I wanted to share something a little different. Maybe the monks got to me.

And I've been thinking about Barbara. A lot. Fifteen months after her death, when I think of her it's the way she used to be. The quick wit. The ever present smile. The hug. The laughter. The jokes. The long talks. Looking out her window at her million dollar view.

All of this has returned as I watch Joey's best friend go through what I went through.

I hope there's a happier ending for them. I really do.

But as I watch this, I'm reminded of Barbara...not her death, but her life. And it's great to notice the sunshine on the mountains again.

It's great to be alive again. Enduring the bad, and celebrating the good.

Keep your friends close.