Random thoughts

The weather sucks.

Rain, snow, rain, snow. Rain-snow mix. But even a crappy weather day on the Kenai Peninsula is better than a clear, sunny day in Juneau.

One of my kids is leaving the area. He wants to go back to school. Going back to school is a good thing. Leaving the state is a sad thing. While I'll miss my offspring, the hardest part is missing the next three years of his kids life.

I ordered some oils for soap making last week. Today, one full week later, the phone rang. It was the supplier asking for our physical address. They haven't shipped the supplies yet. What the hell is going on? They charged my credit card a week ago. Will I use this supplier again? Doubtful. I'm really big on customer service and if it takes them at least a week, a full seven days to ship, that's pathetic customer service.

Waiting is not my favorite past time

Waiting is not something I do with grace or dignity.

Writing isn't a career that brings rewards quickly. Most people can go years or forever with the only reward being the personal joy they get in creating their work. Many writers are never read by the public. There works aren't published. It sets on the hard drive, or maybe a copy is hiding in their closet.

While writing didn't earn me a dime, it did teach me how to wait. It just never taught me how to wait with grace or dignity.

In the last few days I've made two batches of soap. They're small batches. While I'm learning I don't want to waste a lot of money by screwing up large batches of soap.

Once it's out of the molds, and cut into bars, I want to use it. I want to see how well it cleans. Or how well it lathers. Or all those other things. But I can't. Soap needs to cure for at least three weeks, and some blends need to cure for a few months. (I'm not making those long cure time blends.)

So far all my batches are made without using any animal products. I use olive oil, coconut oil and palm oil. Then I use small amounts of avocado oil and grapeseed oil. I usually superfat with either grapeseed oil or avocado oil. In time that will change. Meaning when I get more oils it will change.

One batch is unscented, but I did add ground lemongrass for texture. The other batch has a blend of lemon and tea tree essential oils for scenting and nothing added to the texture.

My next experiment will be grinding up lavender buds and adding it to the soap. I want to see what it does to the texture and if the scent will hold. And if so, for how long.

I do have a few oils ordered. Once they arrive, I can create a few shampoo bars.

It is fun to take oils and lye water and watch it turn into soap.

I just can't use any of it until May 5th. Damn.

Taxes and death

Those are the two sure things in life.

Today is tax day. I finished my taxes several weeks ago.

Yesterday I learned that one of my dearest friends lost her husband. We'd been warned to prepare for this. But the truth is, there is no way to prepare for death.

Ben and Connie were married for over fifty years. Did they have hard times? Of course they did. Hours after they were married they were in a horrible auto accident. Because of the accident they started their marriage with huge hospital bills.

They had other hardships over the years. But the one thing that was consistant, was their devotion to the other.

Fourteen years ago the doctors told Connie that Ben probably had a couple years at most. He had advanced prostate cancer. Yet that wasn't what finally took Ben.

I didn't know Connie or Ben before his cancer. So, I have no idea how much he changed or if he changed at all with it.

Nothing in my memories of Ben pertains to a sick man. He had more energy and life than people half his age. I never heard him sound down, frustrated, tired, or any of the things that might be a sign that he was tired of the fight.

I did hear about his goals and dreams and all the things he still had left to do. And that was after having a life filled with so many goals and dreams already achieved.

Connie is a true feminist. Yet Ben was her life.

As much as I regret that there is now a world without Ben, I worry about Connie.

I wish she wasn't on the other side of the country. I wish I was closer to her during this horrible time for her.

As great as Ben was, Connie is equally as impressive. She's one of the best friends I've ever had. I worry that when she lost her wonderful Ben that the rest of us may have lost a huge part of Connie. And if that happens it will be a truly devastating loss for everyone.

Please pray for Connie. Please pray for her to find the peace that she'll need as she faces a life without her Ben. For theirs was a love that impressed everyone who was lucky enough to be a part of their lives.

She knows she was lucky to have had Ben for over fifty years. But today, the first day of the rest of her life without Ben in it, that really doesn't matter. What matters is the huge gapping hole in her heart.

Hold your loved ones close.

The weekend

Yikes. I'm spending money like there's more coming in.

I had an appointment in Soldotna on Thursday. While we were in the neighborhood we stopped by Home Depot. It was the first time we'd been to Home Depot. Yes, I know there are people who go to Home Depot at least weekly, if not more often. We just hadn't.

It was fun just looking at things. Then we found one of their in store specials. Oh. My. God. We have brand new flooring for our place now.

Since we've been back we've been in remodel mode. So, a great deal on flooring fits our remodeling plans.

This week I received an order for one of my business plans. Well, it's the same plan, but it's an item I'll need for one of the products. Last night I made up a small batch of another product. It needs to set for a few weeks.

Once I get my kitchen back, it's being moved, I'll make another batch. Plus I ordered more supplies to try new recipes. Yeah, spending money like I have a steady stream coming in. Too bad I don't.

Still, I'm having fun. A lot of fun. That is when I'm not exhausted because there really isn't enough hours in a day.

Time

Time is rushing by.

There aren't enough hours in a day.

Today I went out to the spit. When we first came back, we went out to the spit and the fishing hole was filled with ice. Today it was ice free.

Even at our place the piles of snow are melting.

Spring is in the air.

Roger is busy tinkering on projects. I'm busy trying to figure out if my business idea is viable or not. I think it is. From the little I've discussed it with people, they seem the think it's very doable. Of course it's not their money that's being dumped into it.

And coming up with a name is so hard. A lady told me today to just use a name and change it in a year or so if I don't like it. That makes sense, but if I can come up with something right now, that would be better.

Speaking of time...my to do list is very long.

Monday, Monday

Gotta love Mondays. Okay, so we don't have to love them at all.

I know what I want to do. If I'm lucky, I might actually be able to make money doing it. That would border on being pretty cool. Make money doing what you enjoy doing. What a concept.

Well, there's only one problem. This wonderful state where I live has one big drawback. When suppliers learn one lives in Alaska they love jacking the freight up to levels that makes a trip to the moon appear affordable.

I'm spending a lot of time trying to find suppliers who don't want to charge more for the freight than for the product. I might have to call Costco in Anchorage and see if they can get what I need, then pay the shipping from Anchorage to Homer. A lot cheaper than the options I've seen so far.

So...tomorrow, I work on suppliers and fine tune the business plan.

Damn. Double damn.

BTW, it's great being home. All the snags I'm running into are just that...snags. Little problems that can be solved. Maybe on easily, but they're managable as long as I'm home.

Back for good

Okay, maybe I won't be blogging all that often, but I'm home again.

According to Thomas Wolfe, we can't go home again. Maybe. Maybe not. I wonder if the ones that can't go home again are the ones that completely left. Because I am home again, but as I think back across the months, I never really left. Sure, physically I left, but mentally my home has always been on the Kenai Peninsula.

The ferry ride from Juneau to Haines was windy, but not too bad. Between Haines and Haines Junction we had about an hour of whiteout conditions. Yes, I was driving. Very slowly. Extremely slow.

But once we got through the whiteout, the rest of the way was sunny skies. Sun. Lots of sunshine. More sunshine than I'd seen in almost eleven months.

Do I miss Juneau? Honestly? Not one bit.

I look out my window, or step outside and watch the view I've missed. Kachemak Bay and the Kenai Mountains. If I turn ever so slightly, I can include the Homer Spit into the view.

The dogs are content and almost back to their fighting weight. They porked up living in an apartment. Now they run outside, sniff around to make sure no other dogs have claimed their territory and wag their tails.

Roger and I are busy cleaning up. We have years and years of stuff accumilated. We're going through everything and tossing a lot of it. Things that used to be important are now finding its way to the dump.

We haven't figured everything out. Not by a long shot. I'm officially unemployed. I'd like to be gainfully employed, but I'm going to take my time. I know where I want to work. I have time to wait for them to have an opening for me. Well, that is if they don't take too long.

While I'm waiting, I have a couple projects I'm working on. Not writing. Something that might actually bring in some cash.

It's great to be back home again. When we get the boxes that we shipped from Juneau, I'll upload a few of the pictures from the trip. The cable to the computer is in one of those boxes. Idiot that I am.