A few pictures from Homer

A few images from the Homer spit.

That was quick

I'm not going to entertain the potential option that was dangled in front of me earlier this week.

Something happened today (not to me, but to a friend) and it reminded me of when I was going through what she went through today.

She's got a long ass road ahead of her. I should know, since I've been on that same road myself. But there are differences in our roads. I realize that now.

I've separated the professional from the emotional mess that's associated with it. Professionally, I wouldn't gain anything. Hell, personally, I wouldn't gain anything.

I'm doing fine where I'm at--professionally and personally. It's not worth giving the potential option another thought. Sure there would be things that would be easier if it worked out, but there would be other things that would be harder. I'm making Juneau work for me.

It's good to finally feel comfortable with my choices. Being content is not over-rated. Not at all. In fact, it's a pretty good spot to be.

Navel gazing

There's something that's bugging the hell out of me.

I'd love to talk about it, but...well...it's too close to navel gazing for my comfort level. Navel gazing? Yeah, that state where one has their head up their ass so far that they're looking out at the world through their navel.

I'd like to blame it on that trip to Tibet and conversing with the monks. But this is one thing I can't blame on the monks. Or Tibet.

It's not even options at this stage. It's the potential for options. I warned you...serious navel gazing.

A friend in Fairbanks believes everything in life happens for a reason. And that we're in specific locations for a reason. We might not know the reason, but according to the "Big Plan" of our life, we're where we're supposed to be.

I've said this to her many times. Bull shit. That pretty much gives us a pass when we screw up. Oh, I'm here at this place, physically and emotionally, in my life because it's part of my life's "Big Plan." Wow. Isn't that easy. I'm no longer responsible for the decisions I make. Or any of my mistakes. It's all part of the "Big Plan."

I can't buy into that line of thought. It's pretty close to the fundamental zealots that think everything good that happens is due to God, or whatever higher being they worship. And everything bad is due to not avoiding temptation from the devil or whatever evil being they fear. Yeah, it makes life simpler for them. No responsibility for anything. God gave me this. Or
I wasn't strong enough to resist temptation.

Whatever happened to a good old fashioned...oops, I fucked up? statement. Not only "oops, I fucked up, but now I have to figure out how to make things right again."

Oh, that's right. That requires responsibility and "Big Plan" or religion is easier.

Let's say my friend is right and everything is part of your life's "Big Plan" there isn't any pretense of us having any control over our lives. Am I the only one who wants to pretend that I at least have some control over my own life?

Yet, in some areas of my life I've realized I don't have control. And that lack of control has caused me to do some really stupid shit. Since I don't think the stupid shit is part of a "Big Plan" I have to decide what part of the screw ups that I'm soley responsible for that I need to fix, and which part of the screw ups I just need to walk away from.

Right now, I'm looking at a potential option and I just don't know if I should grab hold of it or walk away from it. It's a professional option, but it has so many personal emotions tangled up in it. I can't separate the two. If only I could, then I'd know if I should pursue this potential option. But since I can't untangle the personal from the professional, I don't feel comfortable entertaining the thought. But obviously, I have given it considerable thought, or I wouldn't be making this blog entry.

So there it is...navel gazing 101. Wasn't it fun? Aren't you glad you aren't in my head?

But life goes on. With our mistakes fully intact. Hey, some of the mistakes were at least fun. It's the ones that turned out to be mistakes that also weren't fun that are real pain in the butt. Yes? Yes.

Frost. Oh my.

When I left work this morning my windows were covered with frost.

Oh my.

But it was worth it to see a few days of sun, clear skies and no rain.

The clouds and rain are supposed to come back sometime today.

Sigh.

It was nice. It was very nice.

Sun, Costco, staying up over 24 hours

The pictures are from June 10th, 2006. They were taken at The Shrine for Saint Therese.

I'm a sucker for huge trees, especially moss covered huge trees.

These are the trees that I posted a few days ago. The one where I said it's simply amazing what those trees are hiding. Well, yes, they're hiding more trees.

But they're also hiding this gorgeous little chapel. I did go into the chapel, but something in me wouldn't let me take pictures of the inside. It was very nice inside though. New wooden pews. New stained windows. All in all it was as peaceful and serene inside as it was outside.
Yesterday was another sunny day. I wonder if people in Hawaii appreciate their sunny days as much as we love ours. When there are so many rainy days inbetween the sunny ones, everyone hates to waste them with things like work.

I got off work at 6 a.m., came home for a couple hours before a 9 a.m. appointment. After the appointment, I enjoyed the sun.

Then to put the perfect touch on the end of a perfect day, I stopped by Costco. My goal was to score a tub of grape tomatoes and some new bath towels. They have some big fluffy ones that I've eyed for a few months. Yesterday was the day to finally start my collection.

First things first. I got a couple of the bath towels. Yay. Oh, great, they had sheets for a good price too. Cool. I could use some more. Oh, look, they have more jeans. After all, a diet of grape tomatoes and living on the third floor means the jeans I bought when I came over here are pretty loose on me. So, it was time to buy new, smaller jeans again.

Finally, I went to the produce section. WTF?!!! Not one tub of grape tomatoes. None. Zero. Zilch. Crap. Hell. And a few choice thoughts of more serious profanity. What the hell could I do? What the hell would I eat?

Hehehehe. Screw that crap. They didn't have grape tomatoes, but by god they had chocolate.

Yeah. I have new smaller jeans and a Costco bag of chocolate. What's wrong with this picture? How many trips up and down the stairs will I have to make to still fit into the smaller jeans? Was that one of the stupidist moves I've made in a long time?

There is hope though. As much as it pains me to do so, I can always take the majority of the Costco sized bag of chocolate into the lab. I do owe one of my co-workers a lifetime of chocolate. She filled in for me when I was sick and it's been years since she's worked nights. Other than a few pieces missing after I opened the bag yesterday, it's pretty much intact. My first installation of a lifetime of chocolate for Maggie.

Hey, better her than me. And it was dark chocolate too. Man. That will kill me for sure. Giving up a huge bag of dark chocolate.

But I'll do it for the new jeans. I want to wear them.

Oh, the twenty-four hours. Because it was sunny, I stayed up for over 24 hours just so I could enjoy the sun. It was worth it. Around 5 p.m. yesterday I decided to take a nap. I woke up from my "nap" at 3:30 this morning.

I'd hate to live in the apartment under me. I've been doing laundry since 3:30 a.m. I wonder why they glare at me when they see me. Actually, I don't even know who lives under me. If I saw them I wouldn't recognize them.

Okay...it's about time for the rest of Alaska to wake up. I have a few hours of sun to burn before I nap before work tonight. More sun. Yes, we go manic here when the sun shines. Oh hell yes, very manic.

My favorite area

Auke Bay is my favorite area. It's about fourteen miles north of Juneau. It's where the ferry terminal is located, so it was the first thing I saw when I arrived.

These pictures were taken on June 10th from north Douglas. It's another view of Auke Bay. One that I normally don't see, but just as impressive.



And this one is still from north Douglas Island. It shows Auke Bay and Mendenhall Glacier. Other pictures, that I might post later show how many boats were on the water that day. It was a gorgeous day.

On Douglas Island

This is also from June 10th. It's a stream that we crossed on the way up to Eaglecrest, the ski area.

It's on Douglas Island.

It's been too long

Today was/is sunny again. I slept through most of the sun.

But I was reminded of another day in June. June 10th to be exact when one of my co-workers and I went from one end of Douglas Island to the other and then we went to the north end of the road on the Juneau side and then as far south as we could on Thane Road.

This picture was taken about 25 miles north of Juneau, out the road. It's part of The Shrine for St. Therese.

Words can't describe what's hidden in those trees. Over the next few enteries, I'll post more pictures from June 10th. Though I have to admit, after a while I stopped taking pictures and just enjoyed the scenary.

In a little over a month I'll probably take that trip again. The one where I explore the whole road system again.

Stay tuned for Juneau at her best.

Trying again

The last few days have been rough. I've tried to blog about it, but I keep deleting my thoughts.

Yesterday was very rough.

Today is better.

The friend that wasn't expected to survive the night did. He's still in very critical condition.

It's at times like this when the little things matter.

The sun shining on the mountain. No, it didn't last long, but for a few minutes it was gorgeous and I was so thankful I was awake to see it.

Instead of regretting that I didn't have a better camera to capture the image of the three cruise ships still docked as I went to work last night, I was grateful that I saw them.

They really are floating hotels. But at night, when it's dark and they're all lit up, and all those lights are reflected in the channel it's gorgeous. Somewhat like the white lights in Anchorage in the dead of winter, but without the severe cold, or slippery streets.

This morning on the way home, the clouds were low on the mountain. Instead of making me feel closed in, I felt safe and secure.

I don't know why one day they drive me nuts and on other days they provide comfort. But today they were nice.

As I crossed the bridge I noticed three ships were already docked and another one was coming down the channel.

How many of them will still be there when I go to work tonight? I don't know. But as I drive along the channel, I'll slow down at the clear spot and watch them.

In less than a month, they'll be gone for the winter. But they'll be back next spring.

Joey's still alive this morning. Better than anyone had dared hope for.

Last month he was on vacation, enjoying his wife and kids.

Days after he returned home he's been in and out of the hospital and now he's fighting for his life.

None of us really know what's wrong with him. Well, we know some of what's wrong, but we don't know why. How did it happen?

Life is fragile.

But even during times like now, when many of us are worried about our friend, life provides us with our own rainbow. Sometimes it's our interaction with those we love. Sometimes, like the last few hours, it's images of beauty.

So for my "unhinged" buddy, don't dispair. I'm still just as full of shit as you are, but today...well, today I wanted to share something a little different. Maybe the monks got to me.

And I've been thinking about Barbara. A lot. Fifteen months after her death, when I think of her it's the way she used to be. The quick wit. The ever present smile. The hug. The laughter. The jokes. The long talks. Looking out her window at her million dollar view.

All of this has returned as I watch Joey's best friend go through what I went through.

I hope there's a happier ending for them. I really do.

But as I watch this, I'm reminded of Barbara...not her death, but her life. And it's great to notice the sunshine on the mountains again.

It's great to be alive again. Enduring the bad, and celebrating the good.

Keep your friends close.

More on...

This is and This is NOT regarding the Chick Lit saga. Wow. I almost typed wars and that would have been bad. Very bad. Because we know there aren't any wars going on.

All the contributors to both books are lovely people.

The editors of both books are lovely people.

The publishers of both books are lovely publishers.

I'm sure I must have misunderstood/misread/misheard/completely fucked up when I thought a reader pointed out that if a person buys a copy of the enemies...err, other sides book it is supporting the enemey...err other side.

I'm glad that wasn't the case.

I'd really like to discuss the latest James Blunt song, Good-bye my lover, Good-bye my friend, but since it makes my ears bleed, I'll just lower the volume and hope that it doesn't become a hit. Or maybe, since the title of this blog is "Ramblings from Alaska" I'll just do the obvious and turn off the generator so that magical box in the corner won't be producing music.

It's time to go back to things that Alaskans really worry about. Will the barge make it in with my case of Spam and Pilot Bread before winter hits? Will thirty cords of wood see me through the winter? Will there be enough road kill this winter to fill my freezer...err...make that cache? Will the bears hibernate before I fill my cache? Do I have enough fish to feed my team of dogs through the winter? Or will they rebel on about January 15th and refuse to haul my ass over the bridge? When will the creek by the apartment freeze? When it freezes how will I obtain enough water to flush the toilet?

In other words, no one and I mean no one takes me or my blog seriously. Hell, people who have never been to Alaska don't have a problem telling me that I don't know shit about Alaska and that I'm full of shit when I assure them not all of Alaska will be developed.

But let me make a comment about a couple of books and uh...gosh...it's like the world is clicking on my blog and treating my words with the same respect and devotion usually reserved for the monks of Tibet.

And honestly, I just don't have time for that type of devotion. Really. I just want to be a mouthy bitch from Alaska that the whole world ignores. Please don't do anything that will make me think people actually read this blog or pay attention to anything I ever say or write.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I must harness up the weiner dog team so I won't be late for work. Geehaw little doggies.

September 10th

One year ago today, my life changed.

At this time I was at the airport in Homer, waiting to board the flight to take me to Anchorage. I knew I didn't have much time between flights. Would I make it to my connecting flight to Dillingham?

The first thing I noticed about the pilots from ERA Aviation was how young they looked. Was that really peach fuzz on their faces? Wait. One of them had a wedding band on. Didn't that mean he was probably older than he looked? Please tell me that a couple of 16 year old really weren't flying the plane. Oh please tell me that.

By the time we were half way across Turn Again Arm the whole area was socked in with clouds. No, it didn't make me feel better. I had two very young pilots, and I knew somewhere in those clouds were mountains.

When we reached Anchorage I scrambled to get to the Alaska Air counter, get my ticket, get through security and reach the gate before the plane left. After I had my ticket in hand, the first thing they did at security was take my lighter from me. WTF? The guy there looked at me like I was trying to pull a fast one on them. "It's been that way since April," he said not so nicely. I looked at him and laughed. Then I said, "Great. I haven't been on a plane since June of 1997." He looked at me. "Really?" "Yes, really. I knew there would be some changes, but I didn't know what they were." "You haven't flown since 1997?"

As much as I would have liked to have stayed at chat with him about such an un-Alaskan thing, not flying for that many years, I had a plane to catch.

Or so I thought. Turns out they eventually cancelled that flight. Instead of leaving at 9 something or another in the morning, we wouldn't leave until after 5 p.m.

Great. I had all those hours in the airport, with plenty of cigarettes and nothing to light them with. And smoking meant leaving the security area and having to go through it again and again and again. By the time my flight did leave, the people in security knew who I was and we were on first name greetings.

Last night Lori called. We talked long enough to kill the battery on her cell phone and we finally ended our conversation when we were close to killing the battery on her land line phone. Last night I didn't realize it was September 9th. Or that in the morning, it would be the one year anniversary of when my life changed.

But we did talk about the last year. For both of us. Which is another reason why I love talking to Lori. We can talk in sentence fragments and we get what the other is saying. Every time.

I don't know where I'll be next September 10th. There are things going on in my life that I don't understand. Lori understands some of it in a way that I still don't. She says in time I'll fully understand. Maybe. Maybe not.

All I know is she assures me things will be fine. More than fine.

Reminds me of something that happened about twenty years ago. Mom told me that out of all her kids she never had to worry about me. "No matter what happens, you manage to take the worst situations and turn them into something good. I used to think this one would knock you down to where you couldn't get back up, but you always come back, stronger and better."

I asked her why? Why couldn't I just leave things as they were. She laughed. "Because you've always had to find the answers to the questions the rest of us are too afraid to even ask."

The truth of it was revealed a few days ago at work. A woman who has only known me for a couple months said to me, "Fire engine red."

I told Lori about it last night. She knew what that lady meant. Mom would have known what that lady meant.

September 10th, 2005, I started stripping all the dull grays from my life to make room for my old familiar life colors. Fire engine red.

Will I get knocked on my ass? Yep. That's part of living life as a fire engine red. Will I pick myself up again? You betcha.

Will I understand the things going on in my life that I don't understand right now? Yeah, Lori, you're right. There will come a time when I stop fighting what you already know and what deep down I know, too.

Hey, we both tried to play it safe. Look what it did to us. We're both fire engine red. It's what makes us happiest. Well, that and pissing off the feminist.

Random thoughts from a twisted hungry mind

Working nights.

The positive thing about working nights is that it's supposed to give you permission to sleep during the day.

Cool. Except. Sleeping during the day is only fun and slightly sinful when you've spent the night hours having fun. Working nights isn't usually considered fun.

But. When you work nights it means you can eat burritos at seven a.m. and it's normal.

You can also eat breakfast at any time of the day or night and it's considered normal.

It's okay to cook and eat a chicken pot pie before 10 a.m.

It's not okay to crave Chinese delivery before 8 a.m. Well, it's okay, it' just won't get delivered in a timely fashion. Ditto Godfather's pizza.

It took me from May 13th until September 1st to realize I can pick up the phone, dial a number and have food delivered to my door. I still haven't had it done yet...since they don't deliver before 8 a.m., but I can have it done.

Subway has a drive thru window.

Breeze-In has the best bagels I've ever had and a selection of cream cheese that is out of this world. My favorite is their raspberry bagel with raspberry whipped cream cheese. I'm still waitinig to strike it rich and go in when they have chocolate whipped cream cheese to go with the raspberry bagel.

My favorite meal is still a container of grape tomatoes and garlic bread.

I have to...okay Lori don't fall out of your chair with this one...remind myself to eat meat at least once a week.

Unless I'm sick and then I just have to remind myself to eat at least once in every 24 hour period.

Obviously, I'm getting better because I'm thinking of food.

Delivery would be very nice. But a big fat juicy burger from the Douglas Cafe might have to do. Take out of course. Hold the fries. I'd rather have a container of Ben and Jerry's.

Catching up

Three days off. Yay! I just spent the last fourteen hours sleeping. This is my recovery weekend. I'm feeling much better. Amazing what antibiotics and sleep will do.

The great literary debate of 2006. Two books. This is Chick Lit and This is NOT Chick Lit. Sorry, I'm too lazy to include links. Women bashing other women. Or is it? According to the email loops that I'm on, men don't bash other men. Right. Maybe those who claim that should have a one on one discussion with Stephen King.

There's a discussion about boycotting the authors of This is NOT Chick Lit. What many appear to forget is this book also has an editor and publisher. Why not boycot the editor and publisher? Oh, I wonder if the reason they aren't going after the publisher is because the publisher is Random House? I wonder how many chick lit books Random House and all its imprints publishes a year. I don't have the numbers, but from a casual glance at my bookshelf, plenty.

Stop the bickering. If either book gets people to read, who in the hell cares what the title on the cover says? It doesn't matter if you're bashing one or the other, you're just as bad as the ones you think are bashing you. Get over it. Hell, Amazon is bundling the two books together. Smart move on their part. Because I think a lot of people who order one will order the other to see what the fuss is all about.

Me? There are times I want serious and times when I want funny and times I want both at the same time.

Leave the bashing to Miss Snark and her Crap-O-Meter.

In other news, not that it's really news. Summer is over. I did enjoy July 28th, but I slept through August 20th. Hey, at least I did enjoy one of our two days of summer. Better than sleeping through both of them.

Soon the last ship will sail into Juneau, stay a few hours, then sail away, leaving the docks deserted until next spring. I think most of us here are ready for the last sailing. It's nice to see the new faces in the spring, but it's time for them to leave us alone for a while. Before long the politicians will come back to town. It's nice to have a break between those two events.

Which means, I need to take this time when the summer group is leaving and before the politicians arrive and find a new place to live. I don't want to spend the winter in this apartment. I'd like an apartment that's on the ground floor. One that's in the valley, where they don't get as much rain as we do on Douglas Island. The valley also gets direct winter sun. I'd also like a place where I can come home from work and find a parking place. Oh, and one that has working appliances would be very nice. Yeah, I know, it's the little things. They really do make life much nicer.

Speaking of life. I have a friend who is fighting for his life as I type. After getting the latest report, I do have hope that he'll pull through this. But he's not out of danger yet. Not by a long shot. His wife needs him to stick around. His kids need him to be there for them. Hell, his friends need him, too. If you're the praying kind, please say one for him.

Even with all that going on, life is good. I'm getting better. It looks like the stall in the divorce might not last near as long as I'd feared. Work is going very well. Each day, there's more to celebrate than there is to complain about. And I have something really fun lined up for the near future.

Some blue in the skies

And after yesterday, it's a welcome relief.

The first event was crossing the bridge. We had heavy rains and strong cross winds. Over the last few months I've heard that so far vehicles haven't been blown into the channel, but a few have been blown into the guard rails on the bridge. Oh great. Yesterday was a two handed driving day. Especially on the bridge. The worst thing about crossing it was knowing I had to come back across when I finished my errands and then cross it one more time when it was time to go to work.

It was also a reminder about why I want off Douglas Island before winter hits. I don't want to drive across that damned bridge when it's covered with ice and winds roar down the channel. Plus I'd like to live in a spot where there's a chance to get direct winter sun light. It won't happen on Douglas. They have zero direct sun light in the winter time. And they also make their own weather over here. The rest of the Juneau area can be clear, but on Douglas we'll have rain and more rain.

But today, I came home, slept for about four hours and woke up. Why couldn't I sleep? Uh...why was there so much light coming in the window. I peered out. Holy shit! Could it be? Was it really? Yes, I looked out and saw patches of blue sky.

I can't sleep, so I think I'll spend some of the blue sky afternoon doing what I should have done a week ago. I'm going to go see a doctor and get something to kick this bugs ass. Yes, it's still hanging on and I'm sick of it. No pun intended. Well, maybe a little pun was intended. But not much of one.

September 1st

It used to be that September marked the end of summer. Then after 2001, when September rolled around it was with a dread. What would happen this year?

Last September first I was busy getting ready to fly over to Dillingham. There was a little excitement, but mostly, I was terrified. What in the hell was I doing? I'd been out of the medical field since March 1998. What right did I have to think I could go back to my old career? Who in the hell did I think I was?

I'm as guilty as the next person. I want to have a crystal ball so I can see if I'm making a good decision or not. I'll admit it, I've been known to see what the cards have to say. Or even my astrological chart. Or any other number of things that supposedly guide us through life.

Had I seen last September 1st what the next year would have been like, I wonder if I would have gotten on the plane a few days later.

There's been so many ups and downs this past year. But now that it's behind me, I've learned so much. I hope I'm a better person. I think I am. I know there are things that I've found that I hope I'll never take for granted again. One of the most important things I found in Dillingham was me.

Not Jody, the mother. Or Jody, the wife. But Jody, the human. I'd lost her after decades of motherhood and marriage. Part of it was my own fault. I let others make me feel guilty if I wanted something for myself. So, playing the martyr was easier than bucking those that I loved.

In the last year, I've learned how to finally severe the umbilical cord between me and my kids. God knows all of us needed it. I've stopped feeling like I have to bail them out of every little problem they get into. Now I guide them when they ask for it. It's made my life so much easier. But...honestly, when my youngest got into trouble a few months ago, I tried to bail her out. She said, "No, Mom. I'll get myself out of this one." It stunned me. It hurt my feelings. It made me feel pretty useless. And it made me proud. My youngest taught me how to back off. I don't think I ever thanked her for that. Well, I am now.

I knew a year ago that my marriage had serious problems. I swallowed the huge disappointments and went on. The thought of divorce never crossed my mind. I was responsible for making sure it worked. After years of making sure doctor's appointments were kept, medicine was taken on time, bills were paid, groceries bought, and on and on and on, it was my responsibility to make sure I found a way to make us both happy. That was my job. A year ago, I honestly thought it was the only purpose I had in life.

Now? A year later? I'm responsible for my own happiness. I'm not responsible for the happiness and security of others. Just as they're not responsible for mine.

There are times when I do get lonely. But I've learned I'd rather be lonely by myself than lonely while living with another person. I'll take periods of loneliness over being miserable any day of the week.

I know there are observers who think I'm getting a divorce because of the man that used to let me wash his dirty dishes health problems. Normally, I let them think that. I let them think that I couldn't live with the part of the vows that referred to in sickness. I think it's easier on them to think that, since they are healthy. They don't have to worry about their wife running off.

Yes, it's easier to blame me. In reality, there is a lot that can be blamed on me, but we both got lazy. Neither one of us would face the real problems until it was too late. Health or lack of health had nothing to do with it. Not one damned thing. But if it makes anyone feel better to think that I'm that shallow, go for it. Because I did the best I could under those conditions. And so did the man that used to allow me to wash his dirty dishes. We did the best that we could and it wasn't good enough.

In the last year, I've made peace with myself and my failed marriage. I think the man that used to allow me to wash his dirty dishes has too. We still talk. I know there are times I piss him off. There are times he pisses me off. There are other times we still make each other laugh. But what we agree on, a year later, is we never want to live in the same house again. We don't want to be married to each other.

Knowing what I know now, would I have gotten on the plane last year if I'd had the crystal ball? I really don't know. There's been so many times when I've been terrified of my future. There's been so many times when loneliness had such a grip on me that it sent me into a panic. There's been times when I've sobbed like a baby because I've felt so lost.

Am I glad that I did board the plane? Yes. Every day I'm grateful that I didn't know what the future would bring and that I boarded the plane and started a new life for myself. Because in the last year, I've done something that I hadn't done for years. I've felt. My emotions are alive and healthy. Okay, sometimes too alive and maybe not always all that healthy. But after shutting them down for so long, it's great to feel. Even the sorrow.

A year ago I didn't know a lot of the people who have made the last year not only bearable, but at times fun. So, for those of you who have held my hand, offered me a shoulder, put up with me, endured me, laughed with me, cried with me, thank you so much.

Not long ago, one of my co-workers here in Juneau said, "Jody, you so fucking rock." Well, if I do, it's because I've got such a great support group of people who so fucking rock right along with me.

So for the first time since September 11, 2001, I can face September without dread. In fact, I sit here, typing in this blog and wonder where I'll be a year from now. What will the next year bring into my life that will amaze and please me. Yes, I know it will include some dumping. But that's life. Besides, I have the coolest friends that will be there to help with the bad and celebrate the good.